We've had almost a year to prepare for him not being here on the most special day of the year. But, that's not helping me right now. Last night, I thanked God that Daddy isn't in pain and that he gets to celebrate the birth of Jesus in Heaven... can you imagine how beautiful the ceremony is?
This year brings new traditions for the Swan family. This morning, it will be Mom, Lauren, and me. Technically this isn't new because Tommy, Misty and the boys don't normally come until early afternoon. The big difference is that tonight we'll be serving 19 people for dinner. My Benjamin cousins are bringing their girlfriends, and our Palmer "family" will be joining us too. Hopefully, the excitement of the season with 19 people will help mask the fact Daddy isn't here.
I can't help but think about last Christmas. He was so weak. He was so frail. He was so quiet. We brought a chair into the kitchen so he could be "involved" in the cooking, but he didn't last long. The cancer was simply eating away all of his energy, so he spent most of the day in the recliner.
One of the highlights of last year was Cade standing at the foot of Dad's recliner staring at him. I asked Cade if he wanted to give Hoss a hug, and the innocence in his voice said yes. He crawled into the chair, gave Hoss a hug, and then went about playing. That memory is permanently etched into my brain.
I guess I should get out of bed now and face the day. It's going to be a busy one at the Swan household, and I especially look forward to my nephews getting here. Not to mention, I have some baking to do before all of the craziness starts.
Merry Christmas to all of you! Make sure you tell the people you care about how much you love and appreciate them. You never know when they won't be here anymore.
I love you, Daddy!
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